There’s an awesome group of people that have started a revolution of grace. They are called “People of the Second Chance.”

I follow them on Instagram and Twitter and they posted something today that completely smoked me. If this isn’t worth a Tweet repeat, I don’t know what is:

Grace is having a relationship with someone’s heart, not their behaviors.

I know I need grace a LOT. And I also know I need to show it more quickly when people I love do things I don’t love.

Grace. Jesus lived this everyday and I pray that one day I will, too.

Will you?

Our church participated in a seven day fast to kick off the new year. I normally fast something food related and do a liquid fast or Daniel fast, but since I’m nursing that wasn’t an option. I did fast from all added sugar (like not found in fruit, milk, etc)… That was hard. But the other part of my fast was way harder.

I fasted social media. Specifically- Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You would think seven days without it would be easy, but it showed me how much I depend on it. And going without it taught me a lot.

1. There are other ways in life to spend my time. It forced me to do more of the things I should be doing- housework, reading to my kids, talking to my husband, spending time with God. Seems obvious, right?

2. I don’t want to be one of those whiny people that complains their life through tweets.

3. I don’t need to narrate my day. No one cares.

4. I don’t need to comment/judge everything.

Don’t get me wrong… I think social media is an awesome and incredible tool. Facebook and twitter have been powerful forces of prayer, ideas, well wishes, and heart connections in my life. And I’m still me- I am outspoken and sometimes people think I say too much.

And that’s fine with me.

I appreciate these outlets for what they are-great ways to connect with old friends and new, get ideas, share interests, and show off pictures of those you love.

I just don’t need to be so… Annoying? Ever-present? I don’t know. I just wanna be more like Jesus.

Presley had a little afternoon indoor picnic with her teddy bear and baby doll. They enjoyed fruits and veggies, water, and Bible stories (which she read with much animation). It pretty much made my heart melt.

Oh, and check out those pointed toes. Love!

And between his smile and that wrist fat roll— oh.my.goodness. I can’t contain the cute.

Sweet Moses isn’t feeling great so he hasn’t been much in the mood for pictures. He starts a new routine at school tomorrow so send some prayers his way that it would go well.

…Peace, love, and afternoon smiles…

I love making baby food… Well, let me clarify.

I don’t LOVE steaming/baking/boiling food on four burners, pureeing/blending them, washing processor/blender over and over, pouring into ice cube trays, popping out of ice cube trays, refilling ice cube trays, etc etc…

However, I do LOVE that my baby is getting homemade food- made with love and hand picked, healthy, nutritious ingredients with no additives or preservatives. I love that I can taste it and not be grossed out.

Yes, I do love that. Very much

I also love that this entire batch cost $50 and will last for 3 months.

And after a few hours this weekend, Elikai now has eggplant, lima beans, green beans, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, peaches, apples, pears, carrots, sweet potatoes, peas, chick peas, split peas, honeydew, cantelope, zucchini, spinach, butternut squash, bananas and avocados to choose from individually or mixed together, and enjoy for quite a while.

Because goodness gracious, that boy is SO worth it!

Sometimes adoption isn’t the beautiful picture it’s printed to be. Sometimes- just sometimes- it’s messy and ugly and hard.

Really hard.

But then there are these moments that you get a clear picture of what God saw when He orchestrated it all. And you remember why He’s in charge.

He is good.

He is so so so good.

(And for the record, lately adoption has been the beautiful picture it is printed to be. And we are loving every moment. )

After ravenously attacking my hand every time I eat, I caved in and decided to see if Elikai was ready for some food. I figured we would just try it and see, he wouldn’t be ready and I’d hold off another month like I planned.

I whipped up some pureed sweet potatoes, sat him in a little chair, and my plans went out the window. I couldn’t get the food in his mouth fast enough as he opened up big (BIG) and wide and practically jumped out of his chair trying to get to the spoon.

It was bliss.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have an eater.

Any time a new year comes, I find that a lot of self-reflection is done. I am so blessed, and lately I have been remembering the days where I never thought I would ever get here. Days I hated myself and the world around me. The days on end I came home crying because I was being teased and harassed so much at school. So I decided to write a letter to myself at that age- things I wish I would have known then. Things that maybe would have helped me wake up in the morning not such a miserable, angry person. Here’s what I wrote…

Dear Meghan,

First of all, let me assure you that these days- these horrible, awful, miserable days- they will end. You will make it out, and you will be stronger. You will put your guard up for many years and people will take it as you being mean or a snob. But you’re not a snob, you’re broken.

You are NOT who they say you are. You are not a loser. You are not fat. You definitely don’t resemble a marsupial just because you have that endearing little pooch at the bottom of your belly. Your forehead is perfect and is just the way God intended for it to be. I’m happy to report that after high school, no one will even ever mention it again, or call you “forehead” or “fivehead” because of its size. You are not someone who copies or imitates others, despite what you’re accused of. In fact, you are someone who often blazes the way when people don’t understand or agree with you.

The people who spit on you- figuratively and literally- they don’t matter. They hold no value in your life- then or now. They are just immature and will eventually realize how silly it was. The people who tortured you so much that you had to leave the school you were at- forgive them. Pray for them. Move past it, because it’s not worth it. The years of bullying and harassment that you have already experienced, I am sorry to say they aren’t over. But I am happy to say that God will be there for you through it all. You will get through high school with a few true friends who fought with you and were there for you.

Eventually you will find your identity in Christ, and that will be amazing. You will endure some hard years first… Some awful things will happen. But you will get there. I promise. No matter how bad you screw up, God’s grace is always there for you. You are never too far from Him.

And good news! You and your mom will become so close. Crazy close. (Weird to think of now, huh? As you blast that terrible music with cursing from your room and scream at her that you hate her? Yes, you will grow to treasure her more than words can say.) You will find a church home that accepts you and loves you and is committed to you. You will get married to the most amazing (and hottest) man on the planet and have beautiful, incredible babies. You will not be the career woman you always thought you would be. But you will be exactly who God meant for you to be, and you will find such immense peace and joy in that.

You are misunderstood. And you will continue to be so throughout your adult life… But stay true to yourself, be kind, love others, live graciously, and eventually I have faith that this will change. Remember that your tongue holds the power of life and death, and just like things people say to you have hurt you deeply- you also hurt others with your words.

You are not perfect, but you will eventually serve the One who is, and He will love you despite it all.

You are beautiful. You are special. You are smart and talented and created in God’s image. Take care of yourself. Don’t be reckless, but instead be cautious. Remember how much Jesus loves you, and try to reflect that in your life, spirit and attitude.

Do NOT let yourself be defined by those who tear you down. You are not who they say you are. You are a fighter, and you will fight for yourself and those you love. People won’t always understand it, but you will be strong in it.

It does get better. It gets so.much.better. Just hold on- hold on to those great friends you’ve made, hold on to who you know you are, and most of all- hold on to Jesus.

He will get you through it. I promise.

Just hold on. It gets better.

Love…The older, wiser (but still has tons to learn about myself) version of you.

I’ll be honest. I had a long blog already typed up and almost ready to post about how hard the last couple years have been, the transitions God has us in, the things we have battled, and ultimately how God has been SO so so so crazy good to us and how blessed we are.

And I just deleted it.

Why? Because as I sat in a dark room rocking my beautiful baby boy, I saw a picture of Michelle Duggar’s tiny, stillborn baby’s hand against the tip of her finger. I remembered that my friend Rachel lost her husband. I thought of a sweet lady whom I love whose husband is fighting a losing war with cancer and she is left at home to deal with issues as they arise.

I came out into the living room to my 3 year old princess who just wanted me to cuddle her. I have a precious son in the next room who has taught me so much. I have a husband working doing everything he physically can to provide for us, and he absolutely loves me and treasures me. I have parents and a brother who adore me in spite of my short comings.

It’s been a hard year, but so many people have it so much harder. I am blessed beyond measure, beyond any realm of my understanding. I am so  grateful to God for His grace, His love, and His neverending faithfulness.

I am confident this new year will bring us to new levels of His love despite our imperfections or our circumstances.

My God is faithful.

He loves me.

He is good and His love endures.

And I love Him.

And these amazing people He set me in a family with.

So.

Crazy.

Thankful.

Click here for some major Christmas smiles…

You’re welcome

… A Christmas school break!

I am really excited to have all my kids home for a couple weeks to spend time together, visit with extended family, and enjoy the holiday as a party of five for the first time. No carpool, no dance lessons, no sitting by the window waiting for the bus; just lots of time to relax, play, bake, craft, sing, hang out and act silly. I’m way excited

I’m going to be intentional about doing fun activities with the kids, taking them on dates, and really relishing every moment. I’m going to use every day to remind the kids WHY we celebrate Christmas, WHY they get off of school. I am going to point them to Jesus every chance I get. I am not going to stress (too much) about a clean house, but instead just enjoy life and know that it sometimes gets messy. I am going to smother my kiddos with kisses and hugs until they can’t take it anymore.

Now I might need some help with this… What are your favorite Christmas crafts to do with your kids? Cheap/free activities? Favorite things to bake? What are you doing with your kids over the break? Spill it all

There’s so much tragedy and sadness in the world right now, and I am just concentrating on being content where God has me, surrendering to His perfect will, and loving everyone he puts in front of me. May this be our merriest Christmas ever!

After all, who wouldn’t have joy when you have angels like these to love on?

Hope your holidays have been merry and bright so far… Things haven’t been “easy” around here lately, but we have never been happier or more united as a family. As some of you know, Chris lost his job a couple weeks ago, which is slightly terrifying with three young kids. He is working odd jobs to bring in income and I am so proud of how committed he is. The dude’s not lazy- let me tell you that. We are optimistic that God has the perfect job out there for him; and in spite of the economy and job market being bad, we know our God is faithful.

We are all healthy, I am crazy in love with my studly hubby and these kids of mine are such a massive blessing. This chapter is a true testament of where our joy comes from- the Lord alone, and not our worldly circumstances. I’m doing my best to marinate in the scriptures and let them soak in (because we all know I can get a little coockoo when I try and handle things all my myself )

There’s just over a week til Christmas and I can’t wait to spend time with our families and to watch the kids’ faces as they open the gifts they are blessed with this year. So, so, so very thankful for our Savior, His mother’s obedience, His humble beginnings, and His ultimate sacrifice.

Grateful for the manger and for the cross.

So grateful.

We finally got pictures taken as a party of five… Our first try didn’t go so well. After a crazy three hours of getting everyone fed, bathed, and dressed and then driving about 40 minutes to our photo shoot location, Presley got really sick and was throwing up. Everywhere. All over everyone.

But our photographer was great and fit us in less than a week later and got us some amazing images. The kids were great and cooperative and it was actually fun and no stress! We are so blessed to have many friends who are incredible photographers, but we branched out this time and tried somebody new. We loved her! Plus it’s nice to have different types and styles of pictures, right?

I can’t spoil the pictures on our Christmas cards yet, but here are a few of our favorites that didn’t make the card this year

Now go check out Courtenay at www.courtenayheather.com. She really is incredible!!

Two women who are dear to me have husbands battling cancer… Two women that I respect and admire and adore are facing very hard days.

The first is a beautiful, sweet lady named Ms. Gail. When I got home from Africa with Moses, she was at the airport. She and her precious husband served at the Dream Center- driving at least an hour each way to get there. Last summer (2010) she helped take care of my kids during summer program so that I could be with the Dream Center kids. As her husband, George, became more ill they were forced to quit making the trek there and serving so often. Now his cancer has taken a turn for the worst and he is no longer able to receive treatment. Ms. Gail has had such a weight to bear with this on top of home repair issues, building contractors screwing her over, working a full-time job, and everything else that life demands.

Through it all she has been a picture of His strength in our weakness, and massive, massive amounts of faith. She inspires me in millions of ways. Please pray for her and her sweet George.

The other woman was Moses’ school teacher last year, Rachel. She was so much more than a teacher to him, but also became a friend to me and cheerleader for our family through lots of challenges. She spent so much time researching ways to connect with and help Moses and was so patient with him. Her husband has been battling pancreatic cancer since April and just when they think he has had a breakthrough, something else pops up. They are constantly hopeful and positive and such pillars of determination and peace.

Rachel and Marcus have two young children, and you can imagine how hard this is on them. Please pray for their precious family.

Pray for my people…

**Update: Marcus Brocato went to be with Jesus on December 5, 2011. Please be in prayer for his sweet family whom we love dearly.**